I’m making my Christmas list early this year


You know, the best thing about the fashion industry is that it really does cater for everyday life.  I mean who could actually live without a coat made from mini kermit corpses?


And hands up who feels simply naked if they pop out for milk without the head of a pink fluffy monster drummer on top of their own nonce?

Actually, I can take the piss all I want, but my mum once gave me a cardigan that looked exactly like Animal from the muppets for my birthday.

I was a student at the time and thought I could get away with it.  I even wore it to lectures once or twice.  There were a lot of people at my university who gave up drugs shortly after that.

This woman is too fat for Brazil

Karolina Kurkova: fat beast.

The Brazilian Media have attacked 24-year-old supermodel Karolina Kurkova for being too ‘fat’ for runway modelling.  After she appeared in a bikini runway show, reports say that her “back fat” and “cellulite” drew “gasps of horror” from onlookers.

Well who wouldn’t be horrified looking at that?  Just look at the fat cow, why the hell did they let her on the catwalk in the first place?  Her stomach isn’t concave.  I can’t see her ribs.  And oh my god, is that a curvy bottom I see there?!  Disgusting.  Unacceptable.

Of course I’m being sarcastic.  This actually makes me pretty angry.  Right now, I’d really like to meet anyone who calls this woman fat and tie them to a chair and force-feed them deep-fried lard pies.

Certain media outlets can hardly avoid blame for eating disorders when they have a problem with a beautiful, slim, healthy-looking model strutting her stuff.