Lady Gaga got burned by Die Antwoord

It’s been a while, but if anything was going make me come back after an 18 month silence, it was going to be  something related to Lady Gaga’s vagina. And imagine, the days when I posted regularly were when we all speculated whether she actually had one!*

Basically, the world’s self-appointed freakiest pop star has been burned, badly, by a far lesser known South African group – and not only have they left her licking her wounded ego, they have alerted us to the fact that they effortlessly do what she has always tried to do; give out some strong political messages while simultaneously freaking the shit out of people.

I admit, I probably only knew who Die Antwoord were because I have  a South African boyfriend. But I’m under the impression that most people who are really interested in music and the weird and wonderful genres it brings us will have heard of them. If you haven’t, just imagine a big bloke who looks like he should have been cast as an extra in The Hills Have Eyes, rapping and gurning, while a little blonde pixie creature jumps around squeaking the F word a lot.

I want to adopt Willow Smith

Mommy and Daddy inspired me to be a performer. I get my flow from Daddy, my singing ability from Mommy, and the camera stuff from both. That’s just what happens when you hang out with the Smiths!

How cute is Willow? And how much does she look like her dad?

I like that she called her parents mommy and daddy.  It hints that she’s not growing up too fast despite the record deal with Jay-Z and megastar parents.

I also like her wacky sense of style.

This girl  is gonna be huge!

Scarlett Johansson has a new ‘do

Scar-Jo is the latest of many ‘slebs who have gone for the chop and everyone seems to be commenting on whether they like it or not.

I don’t mind it – it’s edgy and she has the sort of face that can pull off many styles – though I do think long, flowing locks suit her sex-kitten image better.

Another one bites the dust

After five years together, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman are calling it a day.  How sad, they seemed a genuinely loved-up couple back in the day.  I guess five years is pretty good going in celeb-land though.

On the subject of couples going down the pan:

Doesn’t seem to be much evidence of smiling, shaving or washing of hair in Twilight paradise. Oh dear.

Emma Watson has gone for the chop

Ok, I’m going to admit that when this picture popped up on my screen I actually gasped and said: “OH. MY GOD.”

And that means I should really re-evaluate my life, I suppose.

But, talk about drastic!  Perhaps it’s an expression of her being liberated from ever having to play Hermione Granger again?  Her way of saying: “Look world, I am a serious actress now. And while you’re at it send a few more high fashion modelling contracts my way please as I clearly possess exquisite bone structure that can pull off any style.”

Gemma Arterton looks like a princess (of Persia)

It’s so easy to look at pictures of celebs, and think “wow they look really good” but it’s so much more exciting when it’s someone you can relate to, like Gemma Arterton.

I like a girl who does it for the Brits, without resorting to draping bits of material off their size zero limbs or copying the all-American blonde and bronzed look, or trying too hard to be different.

That’s why I like Gemma. She is what she is and she’s stunning while doing what she does. She looks healthy and happy and like a classic princess in that gown.

It takes me back to when I was a little girl and wanted to float about in big dresses with a crown on my head, like the Disney princesses.