Lady Gaga got burned by Die Antwoord

It’s been a while, but if anything was going make me come back after an 18 month silence, it was going to be  something related to Lady Gaga’s vagina. And imagine, the days when I posted regularly were when we all speculated whether she actually had one!*

Basically, the world’s self-appointed freakiest pop star has been burned, badly, by a far lesser known South African group – and not only have they left her licking her wounded ego, they have alerted us to the fact that they effortlessly do what she has always tried to do; give out some strong political messages while simultaneously freaking the shit out of people.

I admit, I probably only knew who Die Antwoord were because I have  a South African boyfriend. But I’m under the impression that most people who are really interested in music and the weird and wonderful genres it brings us will have heard of them. If you haven’t, just imagine a big bloke who looks like he should have been cast as an extra in The Hills Have Eyes, rapping and gurning, while a little blonde pixie creature jumps around squeaking the F word a lot.

Sounds awful, right? It is, actually. Yet it’s actually kinda genius. As aforementioned boyfriend remarked to me: “They make being bad an art form”.

Anyway, Lady G is about to take her worldwide tour to SA and she asked Die Antwoord to be her support act. Not only did they decline her offer, they decided to re-release one of their old tunes with a brand new video, in which a Gaga lookalike gives birth to a white slime-covered crustacean and is then mauled to death by a lion.

Rather than carry on using words, I’ll just give the visuals:

I think this video shows what most of their videos do – that they have a brilliant ability to be scary, funny and political all at the same time (if you don’t believe me, watch their video to “I Fink U Freeky” at the bottom of this post).

Of course they’re going to scoff in Gaga’s face. She knows they’re SA’s biggest freaks and wanted to add them to her worldwide monster circus. How … insulting. What they’re saying in this video is, doesn’t she realise that they already brilliantly do what she tries to do? It doesn’t matter that not as many people know who they are.

Of course, there’s now the online tidal wave of little Monsters bashing their keyboards about how DA are dissing poor old Gaga just to get publicity. I really don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think they really need publicity to achieve what they’ve set out to achieve. They’ve already achieved it.

And Lady G could have handled the whole situation a lot better than retaliating with a tweet about how many more records she’s sold than them (“i fink u freaky but you don’t have a hit. hundred thousand tIckets sold in SA. #thatmyshit“). I don’t think that’s really Die Antwoord’s reason for being in the music biz, and she’s now proven that it’s pretty much her biggest motive. I went to see her show in London a month or two ago and she actually openly gloated on stage about how many records she’s sold, dressing it up as sticking two fingers at the industry bigwigs who ignored her talents in the beginning.

Not that I want to turn this into a Gaga bashing post. The fact I went to see her show in the first place implies I enjoy her music on some level, and I do. The woman can actually sing, and, as she points out herself, she can bash out a good hit or ten. And her dedication to her fans and theirs to their Mother Monster was actually touching at times, with her pulling a colourful assortment of misfits on stage as she finished her show. That’s what she’s good at. Being a heart-warming ambassador for people who like to dress weird and express themselves and worship someone who makes that ok.

Meanwhile,  Die Antwoord aren’t quite so accessible, with their female lead dressed like Demon Barbie while her partner in crime raps about “one big ill bred fuck fest”.

So of course they’re going to tear someone like her down when she asks them to be her dancing monkeys while she applies her expertly-planned 50 layers of freaky in the dressing room.

Next time something like this happens (and it will) Gaga should have some dignity and not respond to it. Not everyone is going to like her and it makes her look desperate when she hits out at those who don’t by boasting about ticket sales. Just carry on doing what you do best, Gagaloo – churning out the hits and accumulating more little Monsters from the mainstream market.

Anyway, I’m really pleased if this has borne Die Antwoord some new fans. While I don’t really recommend their music, I think more people should be watching stuff like this

*Caitlin Moran writing about watching her have a wee in one of the most epic interviews I’ve ever read put that one to rest in the end, though.